Sunday, December 4, 2011
Fly
Thumb softly touches your temple while I gently place my knees to align my belly to yours. Fingers brush through your hair, down your nape, around your ear... cheek to cheek, breasts close enough for a tremble in my core. All I can whisper is, "I want you so much but you have to want me too." Lingering for just a moment before I pull away.
Everyday has made me stronger. I want everyday to make you stronger too. I am so sorry for letting myself become this monster. I just made it too way. We never want what we can have. Alas, I fucking refuse to give up.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Un-Obtainable
I have never been unobtainable to you. You have never had to fight for my affection or attention. It was too easy. Now, you will never want to fight for my affection. How does this get fixed without simply losing. How do I be unobtainable in a way that will not just get myself severed from you. I need to accept that I have to not want you until you want me.
This time I am not giving up. I am not giving into the temptation of self-destruction and brooding. To walk the line of doubt. If put into a situation that has you completely broken and you had a way to fix it, wouldn't you try. Giving this up is hard, trying to fix it is even harder. If there is a challenge to be had. This is it.
Being strong is the hardest thing to do.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
...
You might be able to not pretend to care anymore but I can't pretend not to care about you. This one way mirror isn't as one dimensional as you perceive it to be.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Silence
I dream about you all the time... I am always trying to find you and often I never do.
I dream about you all the time and you will never know.
I can only imagine you dream about me too. Perhaps the reason I can't find you is because you steal me away. Every once in a precious while, I do find you... Then I feel so warm, so free, so lost, so cold. But it is too late... I hold you here in me, always. Again, I open the doors of my dreams. Maybe tonight is a night I will find you... Or wander in the beautiful desert, never alone but always searching. Peaceful chaos... to exist together would rip the world asunder.
Do you know, I dream about you all the time but I can't find you anymore? Are you looking for me too?
I don't want to find you in reality though. Just a nice oasis to remind me of the existence of the unknown.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Over There...
I am tired of living on this beaten path. I am content. No real complaints. I just wish I was headed somewhere.
I want to reach for the stars but settle for reaching for the moon, knowing I can never reach those stars.
I have the desire just not the means. I wish reality wasn't such a harsh mistress. I can dream all I want to but that isn't going to materialize what I want to do with my life.
I am determined not to waste my life.
--Me